Someday, Somewhere, Somehow*

My favorite song has always been "When I Fall in Love".

"When I fall in love, it will be forever."

Well, at 52 years old, it still hasn't happened...

"...Or I'll never fall in love."

Am I less of a person? Someone who doesn't deserve love? My heart and mind tell me "Yes". The fact that I have never been in love or been loved proves that.

I joke that my true love died in the Civil War. And he is waiting for me to join him in Heaven. But is he? Is there even a Heaven?

Dearest,

It is after midnight and I am at last free to speak to you.  Mother, Father and Flossie have grown accustomed to my late night scribbling and have bid me goodnight. In my twenty-nine years I have been called upon by several gentlemen, but you are the one who occupies my thoughts. Even though you are not real, you are more dear to me than the man who has asked, just this night, for my hand in marriage. I do not love him. To please Father I have tried. And sadly, I know I have a duty to obey and must soon accept. But I ache for a love that burns like fire and moonlight. I speak with you in my mind and heart, if you only existed outside of them. 

Goodnight Sweetheart, dream of me.

                                                                                     

(The Love Letter)

* song by Billy Ray Cyrus